Shitting @ school

Since you can't realistically defacate in a urinal, I chose a cubicle. The cubicle was small, approximately two and half feet square. Luckily, there was a coat hook. The toilet seat was damp in places, probably from some retarded 12 year old's missprayed urine. Fuck that shit; I double papered the seat.

By carefully placing a poo basket in the toilet, my now-firm shitlog landed softly in the water with hardly a sound (just the typical sound of shit bouncing on wood pulp) and without treating me to a dose of splashback. It had a nice consistency, but still took a long while to push out due to its length and near-continuous nature - two big chunks. I wiped approximately seven times in both directions but the brown streaks refused to diminish. I resigned myself to some tiny skid marks.

Food consumed prior to defecation:
LUNCH: potatoes
BREAKFAST: baked beans; two frankfurters; toast